Have you ever stopped to notice how many times in just one day you receive messages telling you that you aren’t enough? That you need to own a particular item, dress a particular way, earn a certain amount of income, or work even harder to simply be worthy of being you? So many of these messages show up in the media we hear and read, in our long-held beliefs which we formed in our early years, and in conversation with those who may not actually have our best interests at heart. Not infrequently, we also tell ourselves these messages through both our thoughts and actions.
For years, I believed that I wasn’t enough. Even though I grew up in a loving home and seemed to be confident and secure in who I was, at some point during my teenage years (in particular), I decided that I wasn’t enough unless I performed. I unwittingly began to believe that unless was “perfect” in my achievements (literally, I allowed 100% to become my favourite number - in school and in life), I was flawed…and that just wasn’t OK.
For me, it took coming to the end of myself to realize that something was missing. That all of the performing and striving for perfection in my job, in athletics, and in life in general was getting me nowhere useful—rather, it had become a path to burnout, significant sadness, and a loss of direction. I’m grateful that when it was time to recon with the idea that I wasn’t enough, kind and wise voices guided me to a different way of believing. Brené Brown’s research around shame resonated deeply with me (though I tried to deny that one for a year or so). I began to understand that God loved me for me, not for what I did or achieved. And so began a revolution in my life…a revolution of believing that I AM ENOUGH.
I’ll have more to share around this topic, as it is near and dear to my heart. If you feel that you aren’t enough, know that you are not alone in that sentiment. And also, may you know deeply that in fact YOU ARE ENOUGH, just as you are—imperfect, scarred, and beautiful.